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Rafael Olivas's avatar

Thanks for the insight! The U.S. citizenry has definitely succumbed to the twin oscillating onslaughts of right (now ascendant) and left demagoguery. It wasn't this bad half a century ago, and that's saying something in the wake of assassinations and Nixon and Watergate. But all that aside, your post illuminates that a culture can become both reasonable and responsible.

I'm afraid the Dutch, as you've described them, are correct that ideological restraints on opinion lead to more social damage than social comfort. They seem to appreciate that we are all bound by our problems, and that the problems of anyone are a problem for everyone. Well, damn the Dutch for their enlightenment! In the U.S., for a brief day or a week (circa 1974) we had something approaching that. But our hubris and neglect forced those hopes into internal exile (which is where so many of us in the U.S. are right now).

“Just keep asking questions that push further and further into the idea until it implodes.” That sentiment you mentioned really indicates the scientific and engineering mindset. Until humans are willing to admit we get it wrong most of the time, we can never be free of our worst tendencies. But asking questions can work if practiced enough. Damn the Dutch! Long live the Dutch!

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Kelly Rao's avatar

I love this perspective on resilience. It acknowledges that part of growing up—and really, part of being human—is learning to navigate the messiness of relationships. People will hurt us, sometimes intentionally, sometimes not. And while we have to decide what we’re willing to tolerate, we also have to recognize that conflict and discomfort are inevitable parts of life. As an assistant principal I can say most parents want their kids to not feel discomfort. They might say they want them to be resilient but when it comes down to it they would rather have their child avoid the problem all together than face the challenge. So how can you become resilient?

Teaching kids to sit with those tough emotions, to process rather than react impulsively, gives them real power. It’s not about just “sucking it up” or letting bad behavior slide—it’s about equipping them with the ability to think critically, to stand their ground when needed, and to choose their responses rather than being controlled by them.

This kind of resilience builds strength from the inside out. Instead of just following rules because an authority figure says so, kids learn to trust their own judgment. They don’t just comply with power; they understand how to engage with the world on their own terms. That’s real empowerment.

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