How do you take such a seemingly mundane topic and write something so beautiful? Geez.
Also, I keep coming back to this tweet I saw in 2022, which is sadly all the more relevant today:
It's very hard to maintain mental health because so many coping strategies are based on the idea that your anxiety is unwarranted, and right now needs more of an "okay, extremely warranted but you still gotta water the plants or you'll have fascism AND dead plants" approach
Therapeutic Extension of Self - you reek of it my dear! And, it is one of the many reasons I and others are drawn to your wonderful prose. My mother, who was a Nursing educator and fierce civil rights advocate among other things, spoke to me and my siblings about this concept that she picked up in her first stint of Psychiatric nursing if I recall correctly.
Anyway, the apparent ease through which you turned a story about plants into something deep, warm, and compelling is remarkable. Hope you are well!
- Will
P.S. There is an official definition I am sure but in essence the concept is to use aspects of yourself verbally (often vulnerabilities) to produce better outcomes in clients.
I’ve been reading your stories for years... Since my 19 and 17 year old kids were babies. You’d talk about life with kids in a way I’d never heard people talk about life with kids and it was always exactly how I felt. And now the plants!
You’re amazing. I don’t know how you always find the perfect words. Please never stop.
Hi Janelle - thank you for telling us about your Norfolk pine, Norfy. He is beautiful! I loved that you carried him around like a lovey, and that your dad brought him back to life.
I have the opposite problem - my cute little plants (for no reason I can really fathom) grow and grow and none of my cute little pots can hold them!
Hubby and I STILL HAVE a monstera plant that we received as a wedding gift - 48 years ago! It, like our marriage, grew and receded a bit, grew and receded, and now is a gorgeous, root-wrangly green constant of life. I can't figure it out!
This is a beautiful story, and much more profound than just a story about houseplants. My husband Dan and I both have "gardener's souls", but I am addicted to vegetable gardening (I can make something from almost nothing – that is satisfying to me), and he is addicted to house plants. And we have TOO many plants, especially considering we have no windows with the proper sun to put them in. But, if one little branch falls off a Christmas cactus, he can't bear to "kill" it, so he puts it in water and makes yet another Christmas cactus. (True confession: I have "accidentally" left at least one of those cactus plants, too large for me to even lift, out in the cold. Oh no! I'm a plant murderer!)
We also have a Norfolk pine, and we had the opposite experience. It seemed to be outgrowing its pot, so we repotted it into the largest pot we could find. And, just as soon as we put it in the larger pot, it took off! We have 9-foot ceilings in our house, and it just kept getting taller and taller. It has now almost reached the ceiling. It became our dining room Christmas tree. But the branches are spindly and weak, so we have to use tiny lights and tiny ornaments. But despite getting taller, it hasn't done so well. It's dropped a lot of branches, but it's still hanging on. Truthfully, I haven't tried to heal it, but I do water it when the soil gets dry.
I have another friend who thinks of her houseplants as her babies. She is Indian, but has lived in the States since around 2002. She is in her 50's, but never married and has no kids. She has at least 35 houseplants – and I should know, because she lived in my neighborhood for ten years and when she traveled (often) I served as her plant sitter. I once asked her why she has so many houseplants, and she said, "Well, I couldn't raise kids, so I wanted to raise something." Perhaps she gave her plants names and genders, like you (and Amy). But, I noticed that once you called your Norfolk pine (the one that died) a "he" and once a "she." Which gender did you mean?
I'm sorry if this comment seems too long, but you always say so many interesting, provocative things that it moves me to reply to them. I love that Norfy was able to thrive under your father's tutelage.
I found two pictures of our Norfolk pine, one when it was younger, and one this year. But it doesn't look like I can attach pictures to a comment. Or can I?
I have never been good with plants. My family joked that I ran a plant hospice - they just came here to die, lovingly attended.
Seriously, though, my kids cried when they were unhappy. My plants sat in woeful silence. I have since learned to buy only plants that are VERY hearty. My pothos (which I've finally learned to cut back and propagate and even replant in the same pot if it looks a little patchy. My peace lily which DOES tell me when she needs water. I have a third, still unidentified, that very much likes the light, but the best light is where she will get pummeled by the dog, so she sits in a corner and I turn her 90º every couple days.
I was given an orchid as a housewarming gift, and I was horrified. I went away for a weekend and I don't know what my family did but she dropped all her petals and never bloomed again. I finally tried repotting her and she did not like that and began to die and I have never been so relieved, not unlike how I will feel someday soon when a particular person here meets their demise.
My kids are away at college and life has slowed, so that may be part of it, and i'm better at picking plants within my abilities.
How do you take such a seemingly mundane topic and write something so beautiful? Geez.
Also, I keep coming back to this tweet I saw in 2022, which is sadly all the more relevant today:
It's very hard to maintain mental health because so many coping strategies are based on the idea that your anxiety is unwarranted, and right now needs more of an "okay, extremely warranted but you still gotta water the plants or you'll have fascism AND dead plants" approach
Therapeutic Extension of Self - you reek of it my dear! And, it is one of the many reasons I and others are drawn to your wonderful prose. My mother, who was a Nursing educator and fierce civil rights advocate among other things, spoke to me and my siblings about this concept that she picked up in her first stint of Psychiatric nursing if I recall correctly.
Anyway, the apparent ease through which you turned a story about plants into something deep, warm, and compelling is remarkable. Hope you are well!
- Will
P.S. There is an official definition I am sure but in essence the concept is to use aspects of yourself verbally (often vulnerabilities) to produce better outcomes in clients.
Norfy for the win!! I didn't know a Norfolk Pine could get that big or live so long! ❤️
Absolutely fabulous!
I’ve been reading your stories for years... Since my 19 and 17 year old kids were babies. You’d talk about life with kids in a way I’d never heard people talk about life with kids and it was always exactly how I felt. And now the plants!
You’re amazing. I don’t know how you always find the perfect words. Please never stop.
Hi Janelle - thank you for telling us about your Norfolk pine, Norfy. He is beautiful! I loved that you carried him around like a lovey, and that your dad brought him back to life.
I have the opposite problem - my cute little plants (for no reason I can really fathom) grow and grow and none of my cute little pots can hold them!
Hubby and I STILL HAVE a monstera plant that we received as a wedding gift - 48 years ago! It, like our marriage, grew and receded a bit, grew and receded, and now is a gorgeous, root-wrangly green constant of life. I can't figure it out!
Did you write about Norfy in your book? This feels familiar...
I have like 7 houseplants that are barely hanging in there. Maybe someday I will figure it out. It is not today!
Turn, Turn, Turn a song I introduced to Val, he never let me forget Hugs
Janelle,
This is a beautiful story, and much more profound than just a story about houseplants. My husband Dan and I both have "gardener's souls", but I am addicted to vegetable gardening (I can make something from almost nothing – that is satisfying to me), and he is addicted to house plants. And we have TOO many plants, especially considering we have no windows with the proper sun to put them in. But, if one little branch falls off a Christmas cactus, he can't bear to "kill" it, so he puts it in water and makes yet another Christmas cactus. (True confession: I have "accidentally" left at least one of those cactus plants, too large for me to even lift, out in the cold. Oh no! I'm a plant murderer!)
We also have a Norfolk pine, and we had the opposite experience. It seemed to be outgrowing its pot, so we repotted it into the largest pot we could find. And, just as soon as we put it in the larger pot, it took off! We have 9-foot ceilings in our house, and it just kept getting taller and taller. It has now almost reached the ceiling. It became our dining room Christmas tree. But the branches are spindly and weak, so we have to use tiny lights and tiny ornaments. But despite getting taller, it hasn't done so well. It's dropped a lot of branches, but it's still hanging on. Truthfully, I haven't tried to heal it, but I do water it when the soil gets dry.
I have another friend who thinks of her houseplants as her babies. She is Indian, but has lived in the States since around 2002. She is in her 50's, but never married and has no kids. She has at least 35 houseplants – and I should know, because she lived in my neighborhood for ten years and when she traveled (often) I served as her plant sitter. I once asked her why she has so many houseplants, and she said, "Well, I couldn't raise kids, so I wanted to raise something." Perhaps she gave her plants names and genders, like you (and Amy). But, I noticed that once you called your Norfolk pine (the one that died) a "he" and once a "she." Which gender did you mean?
I'm sorry if this comment seems too long, but you always say so many interesting, provocative things that it moves me to reply to them. I love that Norfy was able to thrive under your father's tutelage.
I found two pictures of our Norfolk pine, one when it was younger, and one this year. But it doesn't look like I can attach pictures to a comment. Or can I?
Plants earning my attention only when they’ve lost all will to live.
Great line, and applies to so much in life. It sounded biblical-Jesus ignoring the flock to find the one lost sheep.
Zero plants in my house because I cannot fail at anything and I know my limits.
I have never been good with plants. My family joked that I ran a plant hospice - they just came here to die, lovingly attended.
Seriously, though, my kids cried when they were unhappy. My plants sat in woeful silence. I have since learned to buy only plants that are VERY hearty. My pothos (which I've finally learned to cut back and propagate and even replant in the same pot if it looks a little patchy. My peace lily which DOES tell me when she needs water. I have a third, still unidentified, that very much likes the light, but the best light is where she will get pummeled by the dog, so she sits in a corner and I turn her 90º every couple days.
I was given an orchid as a housewarming gift, and I was horrified. I went away for a weekend and I don't know what my family did but she dropped all her petals and never bloomed again. I finally tried repotting her and she did not like that and began to die and I have never been so relieved, not unlike how I will feel someday soon when a particular person here meets their demise.
My kids are away at college and life has slowed, so that may be part of it, and i'm better at picking plants within my abilities.